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Why Men Are Never Comfortable In a Church_Part 1


A man’s mind is not wired for the church. A sincere church going man is like a grass-eating lion; very rare to find but nowhere close to extinction. Allow me the honor of taking you on a tour of the makeup of a man which causes him enormous discomfort anytime he finds himself on a church seat.

The Spiritual Tourist

Most men are in church because of their women. Any man, at least the reasonable one, will do just about anything for the woman who has somehow managed to tame his wretched heart, which includes accompanying her to church. The church dictates total conformation of every soul within its walls. Let it be known that a man who attends church is not necessarily a convert.  Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian in the same way visiting an arboretum does not make you a tree. Most men in church are like tourists; watching and aping but never fully conforming. Their manhood does not permit them the luxury of conformation.

The Street Soldier

The church is like a horse ranch; it takes the wild hearts and attempts to tame them. Our society does the exact opposite, especially when it comes to men. Our society is designed to convert a regular gentleman into a creature with a heart harder than the bumper of a garbage truck. The once humble young man turns into a beast rougher than a rhinoceros, more ruthless than a ghetto hustler and more cunning that the self-educated call girl. From sun-up to sun-drop, for six straight days, this man lives a routine similar to a military ‘pass out’ drill. How then do you expect this same man, this rigid civilian street soldier, to automatically turn into a ‘jelly-back’ hand-lifting servant during the Sabbath day? If a man can be tortured and battered out of shape every day yet won’t even shed a single tear, how then do you expect such a hard soul to enter a place that people express brokenness? Imagine hoping that this soldier tears up upon hearing a soft worship song. The good book says that some things can only be overcome through prayer and fasting; I believe breaking this street soldier is one such thing.

The Independent Deviant

The church teaches on helplessness of the self. It constantly lectures on total reliance on an entity that is much greater than you; that is Jesus/God. The typical male driver would rather find his way by getting lost than ask for directions. The only time a man will sincerely ask for help is when he begins to see the light at the end of the tunnel; that is, when he is almost at the point of death. Let me be straight with you, if a man could burry himself, I mean, if he could pick up a shovel, dig a ‘3 by 6’ feet hole, enter it, then somehow push down the soil back in and burry himself, you would never hear of male funerals anywhere. Men are not programed to ask for help. For them, asking is not only a sign of weakness, but also an expression of defeat and inability.

Now, imagine expecting to see such a man going on his knees, tears in bubbling in his eyelids and expressing a heightened form of helplessness; the same man who would rather die before requesting assistance from another air-breathing human being. Even more tasking is that he is expected to ask help from a Man he has never actually seen, save the fabricated Michael Angelo paintings of the Savior that we find on the walls of the Vatican and catholic sanctuaries. The message of living it all to the Messiah does not flow well with the soul of the independent deviant.

Helplessness is not a trait that a typical man will voluntarily portray. Such a man is not designed for the sanctuary. Before he asks WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), before he goes on his knees to ask for divine guidance, he will go for many sleepless nights trying to figure out an innovative solution to his present condition. He will thoroughly torture his mind before he admits defeat and only then, with his dying breath, he just might call upon the Most High; rarely does he make that call.

The Desperate Lad

They say church numbers will continue to boom as a long as poverty and desperation persist. One may then be curious to ask, “Where does the desperate man relinquish his desperation if not the church”?

Yes, many will turn to the knob of the pope’s confession door but most prefer to swim in cheap liquor stores in those dark and crowded shebeens. There is too much pity for the desperate especially in those sacred buildings; too much sympathy without empathy. Men don’t like to be pitied; they prefer to be celebrated and recognized despite their woes and dented pockets. That is why they will flock the bar before they call upon the name of Jehovah!


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Posted by on January 29, 2015 in Culture, random thoughts


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