Tag Archives: friendship

Your Wife & Your Wi-fi

wife_wifi Truth be told, social media is the most formidable foe of friendship and intimacy. It gives you an illusion of closeness and personal touch while actually putting a barricade to the very things it is designed to bridge. Social media’s firstborn bastard child is none other than the smart phone. You see its effects everywhere; in the bus, bar, salon, café and boardroom. Two minutes cannot even pass by before you slide your phone open to see what is up on Whatsup, who has posted on your Facebook wall, which of your followers have retweeted your latest tweet, whose profile picture is trending on Instagram and what new archive is in your Dropbox. Sadly enough, you check all these things as your friend or partner is left talking to himself or herself while staring at your inclined forehead with your eyes fully focused on the phone screen; better yet, he or she gets bored and automatically slides open his or her own smart phone if they happen to have one. It is therefore no surprise that the same thing ends up happening behind closed doors in the most intimate of situations. One of my favorite bloggers, Ciarra Ross, rightfully states that ‘something is completely out of order when the most important vibration to a nation of people is their cell phones’.

Now let us dissect the impact of social media gadgets behind the most important closed door: the bedroom. Going through your phone while spending intimate time with your partner should be considered a serious crime of passion, which should be punishable to the highest extent of the law. I state this based on the belief that intimacy is not as trivial as some would have us believe. Why then should someone misuse part of these divinely phenomenal intimate moments to engage his bundle-based Wi-Fi instead of connecting deeper with his precious Wife/partner? Social media primarily engages the mind and once the mind is sidetracked, the body and spirit follow suit. The dissatisfaction resulting from constant distractions when spending quality time is a typical marital/relationship ticking time bomb.

The marital problems resulting from intimacy issues are already grave; why then exacerbate the matter by constantly stalling the full flow of affection due to obsession with a cellphone? It is good to remind ourselves that the uncouth and anti-social habits, resulting from preoccupation with social media, which we display in public, will automatically replicate themselves in the privacy of our bedroom walls.

Maybe it is time you tell your Facebook you want your face back; time to tell your Twitter handle to retweet your wit ASAP. Otherwise, the moments set aside for spending quality time with a loved one will just provide fertile ground for conflict between sacred relationships and soul-less technology. As for who will win this great battle, it depends entirely on which of them you spend more time engaging. The hope is that the signal to connect to your Wife/partner will be stronger than that of your smart phone’ s Wi-Fi.


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Posted by on January 15, 2015 in Culture


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If you are a Good Man


If u r a man, a gud man, n u find a gud woman, luv her with all u got.
dont make tha mistake of lovin her in moderation.
do not let ur ego limit the expression of ur affection.
let her know u r willing n able 2 defend ur union by any means necessary.
a gud woman doesnt come easy, so dont make tha mistake of lettin ur pact break
just coz ur ego aint ready 2 luv her totally & continuosly & freely.
Mr. man wen it comes 2 luv, u gotta push ur ego below ur heart,
n 4 sure ur union will work n last even after your bodies turn into dust.



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Them Friends

A cut to tha bud to strengthen tha growing fruit
sometimes friends u gotta let loose
to increase his harvest tha farmer gotta prune
fo’ tha sake of ur prince/princess otha bonds gonna get bruised.


Watch dem fren’ u a keep
not all a dem wish ya to win
some a wolf some a sheep
some dem fake some dem real
some fren’ mek ur soul sing
some mek ur heart bleed
Jah know real fren’ a true blessin..
May he guide u to choose ur crew wisely.



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Posted by on August 14, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Lady Mystique__Part3

“Excuse me Miss, you’ve got some grass on your hair” I said calmly.

Outwardly, my body looked confidently cool, calm and composed. Inwardly, all the regular body operations dragged, jerked and shouted “System Overload!”  Nonetheless, the first part of my plan had taken root successfully. ‘Lady mystique’ slowly attempted to clean the imaginary ‘mess’ that she thought lay embarrassingly on her thick dark afro.

“Has it all come off?” she innocently asked.

“Just a little more on the left; don’t worry I’ll get it out for you” I sneakily replied.

I skillfully began to stroke her hair softly; first on the right side and then artistically proceeded to the left. I could not risk reshaping the one sculpture that every lady spends most of her time and money on: hair.  Before I could complete the honorary task of ‘de-grassing’ the natural crown of ‘lady mystique’, the forbidden occurred. Our eyes met. I knew I had overstepped the zone of no return. It happened so fast that my mind experienced a terrifying short-circuit. The glitch sparked off a spiritual tsunami, which generated an electromagnetic reaction that in turn ignited an emotional overdose! In simple terms, I collapsed.

To say the truth, it happened like a three-punch technical knockout; what boxers call a TKO. When my eyes and those of ‘lady mystique’ met, a strange red light sucked my mind into a ghostly trance.  Next, I heard Grandma’s cautionary words; they begun as a whisper then grew into an ungodly high-pitch sound which ruthlessly tore my eardrums igniting a mental trauma. Finally, my eyes slowly opened just before I head-butted the concrete floor and blacked out. The rest is difficult to disclose. I remember very little about the events of that mysterious Monday when I met ‘lady mystique’. All I Can say is I have never touched a girl’s hair since that day…


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Lady Mystique__Part2

My grandma often warned me never to touch a girl’s hair.  Any African in his right mind would not dare confront, let alone question an elderly woman’s instruction pertaining to maters of lineage or tradition. For reasons known only to our elderly, ‘our ways’ vehemently stipulated I keep my rough manly hands miles away from the black keratin serenating the soft scalp of a member of the opposite sex; that is, a woman’s hair. Grandma’s words, just like my father’s, God rest his soul, somehow never connected with my intuitive brain. Their words often reminded me of those boring mathematical formulas which students repeatedly recited with priestly devotion but rarely applied them correctly when solving examination questions.

Curiosity to approach the mystique lady gripped my mind harder than a hyena’s deadly bite. So vicious is a hyena’s bite that once this laughing creature clutches its prey’s flesh, its ‘steel jaws’ naturally lock only to open after it rips off a massive chunk of meat from the helpless moaning animal.  The spell now cast, emotions somehow overriding all logic, my feet begun marching forward meticulously, merging perfectly with the rhythm of my heartbeat. It felt like I was walking on a tight-rope with a blindfold tied tightly around the eyes and handcuffs solidly securing my arms behind my back. Oshun, Orisha of Love, must have felt pity on my foolish self that she swiftly birthed an idea in my mind just as I sat down beside ‘lady mystique’……………..


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