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Your Wife & Your Wi-fi

wife_wifi Truth be told, social media is the most formidable foe of friendship and intimacy. It gives you an illusion of closeness and personal touch while actually putting a barricade to the very things it is designed to bridge. Social media’s firstborn bastard child is none other than the smart phone. You see its effects everywhere; in the bus, bar, salon, café and boardroom. Two minutes cannot even pass by before you slide your phone open to see what is up on Whatsup, who has posted on your Facebook wall, which of your followers have retweeted your latest tweet, whose profile picture is trending on Instagram and what new archive is in your Dropbox. Sadly enough, you check all these things as your friend or partner is left talking to himself or herself while staring at your inclined forehead with your eyes fully focused on the phone screen; better yet, he or she gets bored and automatically slides open his or her own smart phone if they happen to have one. It is therefore no surprise that the same thing ends up happening behind closed doors in the most intimate of situations. One of my favorite bloggers, Ciarra Ross, rightfully states that ‘something is completely out of order when the most important vibration to a nation of people is their cell phones’.

Now let us dissect the impact of social media gadgets behind the most important closed door: the bedroom. Going through your phone while spending intimate time with your partner should be considered a serious crime of passion, which should be punishable to the highest extent of the law. I state this based on the belief that intimacy is not as trivial as some would have us believe. Why then should someone misuse part of these divinely phenomenal intimate moments to engage his bundle-based Wi-Fi instead of connecting deeper with his precious Wife/partner? Social media primarily engages the mind and once the mind is sidetracked, the body and spirit follow suit. The dissatisfaction resulting from constant distractions when spending quality time is a typical marital/relationship ticking time bomb.

The marital problems resulting from intimacy issues are already grave; why then exacerbate the matter by constantly stalling the full flow of affection due to obsession with a cellphone? It is good to remind ourselves that the uncouth and anti-social habits, resulting from preoccupation with social media, which we display in public, will automatically replicate themselves in the privacy of our bedroom walls.

Maybe it is time you tell your Facebook you want your face back; time to tell your Twitter handle to retweet your wit ASAP. Otherwise, the moments set aside for spending quality time with a loved one will just provide fertile ground for conflict between sacred relationships and soul-less technology. As for who will win this great battle, it depends entirely on which of them you spend more time engaging. The hope is that the signal to connect to your Wife/partner will be stronger than that of your smart phone’ s Wi-Fi.

__uThanDiLe©2015

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Posted by on January 15, 2015 in Culture

 

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The Economics of Affection

The Economics of Affection
Economics of Affection

I think some of our women, especially those in the spotlight, socialites to be specific, are walking a tightrope and convincing their legions to join them on the already breaking rope. It is a very dangerous affair if you ask me. As an environmentalist I know full well that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman analyzing a male based on his ability to provide security for her and her offspring. Every female will do that naturally, whether in the wild or in the suburb; be it the lioness in the Maasai Mara, Mama Mboga in Kawangware or the Range Rover driving bank CEO lady in Kilimani. It is a standard test of nature: Provision, Protection, Preservation and Procreation. All these can be summed up in one word: Security. However, there is a major crack in the above syllogism especially when it comes to the modern day woman who somehow equates security to money and property. It is what I call the Economics Illusion of Affection and the first illusion is that money can somehow purchase affection.

When I talk of security, I refer to the security of protection, security of trust and honesty, security of dedication and affection, security of responsibility and nurturing, and the security of intimacy. Take note that of all these securities, only one is linked to a monetary measure. Now, a lot of women totally fail to see this grave mathematical mistake of equating love to cash. That error, if you ask me, is the perfect formula for a complicated relationship, which in turn results into a disastrous marriage. What is even more heartrending is the thought of the horde of women out there looking for relationship advice and somehow adopting the economics of affection mentality. It is indeed a tragedy of the blind following the clueless.

Too many women believe that good men are very few; a sort of endangered species if I may use an environmental term. To say the truth, by reasoning like the public socialite, their statement is not too farfetched. There are not very many rich men out there, and even fewer wealthy gentle ones. If the number of zeros in the bank account is the standard by which women will measure the ability of a man to provide security for them, then our graves will continue to boast of the abounding treasure of spinsters with broken hearts.

__uThanDiLe©2015

 
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Posted by on January 13, 2015 in random thoughts

 

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She Ain’t Your Type

u seh she aint ur type coz u dont feel her vibe.
u r convinced she aint ur miss right coz u dont understand
her jive.
she has a crazy mind.
u cant imagine her stridin ba ur side.
but.
here u r caught ba surprize.
shi has charmed u with her sly smile that is smooth lyk
camomile.
hijacked ur heart down tha isle.
flashbak.
u dint feel her vibe or her jive
now shi ur wonder woman, ur precious wife, ur byuti-full bride.
shi who once vexed ur mind
now shi makes u feel fully alive.
its tha majik of time. the hand of the divenine which
even make the moon shine in broad daylight.
so, u still think she aint ur type….yeah right!!
You are in for one big surprise.

__uThanDiLe©2014

 
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Posted by on December 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Manhood

You are born male. You learn to become a man.
Male instincts are a default setting but manhood is
something that requires constant practice and nurturing.
A chunk of us men sometime behave like beasts because we
have sharpened our male instincts at the expense of our manhood.
Our mothers and wives and daughters are in trouble because
they are surrounded by aggressive males and not nurtured men.

__uThanDiLe©2014

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2014 in random thoughts

 

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~Hand of a Star~

Empress_I

I went to the Sun to request for the
hand of one of her stars
the bright shy one
the one who had crossed the paths
of my clan lands about
five months back

“My son, will the shadows of your love
that are cast on the brightest parts of your
hearts still grow more after
dusk comes?” the Sun asked…..

This girl….this shy star
she had the beauty of an entire galaxy
I could feel the rays of her beautiful
eyes warming my chest as I sat down anxiously
on a silver-lined cirrus cloud unsure
whether I would impress her Mama & make
her proud.

Truth is that I was confused
with love sometimes comes hurt
I couldn’t contemplate turning a
bright star dark
receiving her hand only to break
the glimmering glare in her heart….

As if sensing my uneasiness
her soft breath of breeze slowly cooled my racing
heart beat….
I fell into a trance imagining
a day without the Sun
a clear night with no constellation of
Stars
“I’m I man enough to walk this unknown path?”

“My Son!”
My eyes opened
glancing drowsily at the Sun
then gradually turning my neck to her
magnificent first born Star.

Mama
your daughter is the brightest living thing my
eyes have ever seen
You are concerned whether her destiny
is to be tied to that of a mere man like me
Her rays have been glaring hot on my skin since
I came in yet the compassion of her cool
breath has kept me cool within….

Mama
I am no Son of a Moon or relative to any Star
I sprout from the meekest of clans
the one made of dung and mud
Not an iota of burning gas burns
in my blood
I am as meek as they come
Yet what I bring is but what no other man has
the burning love for your brightest Star
one that will keep her brighter that the
light of the entire earth…..

Oh Mama
Our shadows will swim eternally through the
ground and through the grass
for a million dawns and a billion dusks
with our souls illuminating the entire
universe
The brightest Star producing the coolest
breeze
The darkest mud generating the hottest
heat….

Little shadows mixed of
mud & gas will swim on the
dusty ground and silver-lined
cumulus clouds
You’ll see them jumping around even
after Sun down….

Rainbows begun to form
raindrops snowflakes sun-rays
I felt the blood in my left palm
instantly turn warm
I knew her hand had been placed on
mine….

__uThanDiLe©2014

 
 

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She Loves Dirt

She rarely goes to tha temple, mosque or church.
She seldom reads tha vedic script, bible or tha koran.
She is skeptical of priests, prophets, yogis & imams.
She prefers climbin’ trees, swimmin in lakes, watchin birds &
admiring tha radiant sun.
She adores the shades of flowers, the patterns on leaves,
the constellations of stars, tha buzz of bizzy bees.
She seems to trust dirt & mud.
Her teachers are the dung beetle & the ant.
Her favorite dance class is that of bugs swaying salsa
with blades of grass.
She truly takes after her mother:
The Earth.
***
I want to ask Her
to be ma gal
but I know deep within she doesn’t
trust us
she loathes Man
coz he’s chokin’ her mum
pollutin’ her sacred womb…
her land her air her water…
her earth
her only one true love…
***
I’ll fill ma heart with dirt
saturate ma mind with brown mud
clog ma lungs with all kinda flowers.
I’ll learn to swing & jive like bugs
spend as much time with the helmeted clans
residing in cow dung.
I’ll listen to the singing birds from
sun up to sun dusk.
I’ll learn to love Earth
I’ll learn to love her
I’ll play in dirt till I turn to dust.
Maybe then I’ll win her trust
be her Earth
earn her salsa kinda Love.

__uThanDiLe©2014

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Posted by on September 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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On God’s Palms

tumblr_lorbli9hJP1qdcasso1_500

You are not Afrikan by chance.
You are an exquisite divinely crafted work of art.
Masterpiece sculpted ba God’s own palms.
Finely polished with sifted sand n coated
with tha softest dust marinated in tha savannah sun.

You are not Afrikan by chance.

You are sketched in natures cyclic line
serenated ba tha seas rhythmic rhymes
even tha skies solemly confess that
you are surely divine.
Your intrinsic insence is no lie
ur spectrum of blakness is beyond space n time
let no one tell u otherwise.
You are tha universe’ first child
first clan
tha custodian of tha soil on which you stand.

You are Afrikan by design.

__uThanDiLe©2014

 
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Posted by on September 15, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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